When race comes up, we as white people tend to infer blame. This happens because we have been blamed unfairly at times, and it happens because we still need to learn how to deal with blame, guilt and shame. This visceral defensiveness is actually a price we’re paying today for racism’s legacy.

The Obama era invites us to find our way beyond blame.

There may be moments when people of color blame white folks for being white. All stereotyping says more about the perpetrator than the person being caricatured. Implicit in having a black President is the invitation to African Americans to raise the issue of race only when racial dynamics are actually operating. There should simply be no ‘race card’ to play.

To move beyond blame, we can also choose to act with courage, respect and candor when other white people blame us for seeking to converse on race. In the online comments to Mr. Large’s column, some gave into the temptation to simply react, calling me a “buffoon”, an “opportunistic quack”, or “another fool playing the race card.” It’s just easier to accuse me of “white-bashing” and “cashing in on hate”, without engaging what the column actually says, without exploring this website, or even looking at the book. Such reaction is their choice.

I get to choose how I respond. Some options: react in kind, ignore the controversy, let it silence me, or seek to be part of conversations that move us ahead.

Here’s how I’m seeking the way beyond blame. I’m learning that the real opportunity underneath the conflict is the willingness to care and grow. (In me, the work of God drives this impulse.) Wonderfully, if we want to be better people and build a better country and world, we will.

We can choose to react, to avoid empathy and resist growing. Gut reactions on race don’t help move us beyond the blame game. Since we don’t want to eat the blame that people push at us, let’s refuse to dish it out to others.

Honest, respectful conversation moves us forward into due regard for race: don’t ignore race, and don’t exaggerate it.

Can we lead the way beyond blame? Yes we can.

It’s a great moment for leading and following – we’ve installed Mr. Obama in The Job, and now he clearly expects us to lead our own lives responsibly and for the common good.

One of my favorite inaugural moments was during Rev. Joseph Lowry’s benediction, when he quoted the Civil Rights ‘rainbow’ saying, about black, brown, yellow and red … and white. Did you catch our part in the drama? “White will get it right.”

Let our teachable time commence.

I was intrigued by a CNN poll from the Dr. King holiday. http://www.edition.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/01/19/king.poll/index.html They asked “Has Dr. King’s dream been realized?” In March of 2008, 34% of black people and 35% of white people agreed. This month, 69% of African Americans concurred, while agreement among white people moved up to 46%.

CNN’s analysis focused on the doubling of the affirmative from black folks. That truly is a wonderful measure of a promise kept. But what explains the current 23-point gap between black and white respondents?

Remarkably, this study quantifies that, for our part as white people, we see that we have a long way to go in realizing Dr. King’s dream.
• We understand that we need to stereotype and judge black people less.
• We can welcome them and learn with them more.
• We can lead and follow among them with more emotional intelligence.
As this new inter-racial landscape of unfolds, each one of us is personally responsible for assessing our own mind and heart. Historians will note 2009 as the time when white Americans came to grips with the price we ourselves have paid for the legacy of racism.

So the Inauguration and the CNN study remind us that we have a lot to learn about relating across racial lines. Our nation needs us white folks to step into this teachable time.

That’s how I see it. How about you?