Every day I talk to leaders who struggle with fears fueled by human differences in their organizations. I hear stories from white men who are afraid to provide corrective feedback to a “diverse” colleague, for fear of offending. I’m told tales about employees of color who aren’t completely sure that inclusion should include white men in leadership jobs. I know that many women live with a daily and tangible concern for their physical safety. So we’re still lighting fires over differences in race, gender, and other dimensions of diversity.

Our nation is in trouble when civil dialogue breaks down, when every difference of opinion turns into a fight. We’re in trouble when diversity drives us underground, when we go quiet and flee behind closed minds and doors. And America is in trouble when we start to fear 100% inclusion – I honestly believe we’ve arrived at a time when it is dangerous for all of us when white guys feel excluded and disengage from constructive change.

Why is fear so powerful and prevalent?

First, it’s an ancient and wired-in survival mechanism – when we feel threatened, our bodies gear up to fight or flee. Second, actual loss or the expectation of loss evokes a powerful emotional response in us. Third, in times of financial turmoil, we’re less certain of our well-being, so we respond with anxiety. And fourth, demographic change comes hard: it’s a fearsome process for a racial majority (those of us who are white, that is) to accept a future when everyone will be in the minority.

I don’t’ see fear dissipating anytime soon – it has too much social and psychological momentum. For those of us in leadership jobs, we simply cannot lead from a place of fear. We have to find our way through it. What to do? Three ideas.

• Acknowledge fear, your own and other’s. We can’t wish fear away, or pretend it’s not percolating in us and in our organizations. We need to identify actual risks and perceived dangers. We should anticipate and respond to such apprehensions as part of our change management and diversity work.

• We can also build conversational skills to handle tough discussions with respect and candor. Train your colleagues to lean into controversy, confident in their conflict resolution skills. Hold folks accountable for behaving with respect and candor.

• Finally, sell out to safety. Apply your people smarts and organizational savvy, and deliver on these promises at work: that colleagues can bring their whole selves to the job every day, that they can believe what they want, and that they can say what they really think. And then make sure everyone keeps these promises, together. That’s a powerful cure for fear.

Let fear become a fuel for leading on diversity. Trust will grow, and fear will dissipate.