A February 2nd column by Jerry Large in the Seattle Times featured my book and told a bit of my story. Check out the column and the amazingly reactive comments at: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/jerrylarge/2008696817_jdl02.html

When race comes up, we as white people tend to infer blame. This happens because we have been blamed unfairly at times, and it happens because we still need to learn how to deal with blame, guilt and shame. This visceral defensiveness is actually a price we’re paying today for racism’s legacy.

The Obama era invites us to find our way beyond blame.

There may be moments when people of color blame white folks for being white. All stereotyping says more about the perpetrator than the person being caricatured. Implicit in having a black President is the invitation to African Americans to raise the issue of race only when racial dynamics are actually operating. There should simply be no ‘race card’ to play.

To move beyond blame, we can also choose to act with courage, respect and candor when other white people blame us for seeking to converse on race. In the online comments to Mr. Large’s column, some gave into the temptation to simply react, calling me a “buffoon”, an “opportunistic quack”, or “another fool playing the race card.” It’s just easier to accuse me of “white-bashing” and “cashing in on hate”, without engaging what the column actually says, without exploring this website, or even looking at the book. Such reaction is their choice.

I get to choose how I respond. Some options: react in kind, ignore the controversy, let it silence me, or seek to be part of conversations that move us ahead.

Here’s how I’m seeking the way beyond blame. I’m learning that the real opportunity underneath the conflict is the willingness to care and grow. (In me, the work of God drives this impulse.) Wonderfully, if we want to be better people and build a better country and world, we will.

We can choose to react, to avoid empathy and resist growing. Gut reactions on race don’t help move us beyond the blame game. Since we don’t want to eat the blame that people push at us, let’s refuse to dish it out to others.

Honest, respectful conversation moves us forward into due regard for race: don’t ignore race, and don’t exaggerate it.

Can we lead the way beyond blame? Yes we can.